You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
