She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize