Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
