I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
