yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
