Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
