She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
