Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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