So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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