hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
