My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize