now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
