I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
