I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
