Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
