Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
