hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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