DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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