You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
