I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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