You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
