I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
