I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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