she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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