i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
