you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We were destined to go to rehab together
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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