I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
