His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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