Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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