He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I want to make a zoo with you.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
