It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
not ubering you a puppy
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
