So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She needs sedatives and a leash
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
