did you get engaged???
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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