Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I had to cum in my sink.
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