If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
