Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
