the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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