Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
