Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
