I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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