Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize