Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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