Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
