so that wasnt chicken after all
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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