What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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