I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
