She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
