One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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