I just gift wrapped bread.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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