Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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