Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I need to calm my uterus...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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