i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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