I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
