he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
