I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
