whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We left the knife in your bed.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
