I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize