ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
