I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
